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How to get on the Pga Tour?

I would like to know exactly how you go about getting a spot on the tour?
My goal is to win and make money and be on wheaties then cheat on my wife with multiple partners. Does anyone know how I could get started?
Thanks:)

Anyone can become a pro golfer………well almost anyone. First you have to have a handicap of 3 or better and then you can fill out an application to Pga Tour Qualifying School. If you are accepted and have no PGA Tour exemptions you have to go through pre-qualifying. Field sizes at each pre-qualifying tournament will be exactly 78 players with no cut. There will be 4 rounds and the number of players qualifying will be announced before the tournament starts, there were 5 of these tournaments this year so an equal number will qualify from each one. All players tied for the last qualification spot will move on to the next round, no playoff. If you qualify for this you move to The First Qualifying Stage which is a 4 round tournament, 78 players and a certain number of qualifiers announced before the tournament starts and all ties for the last spot will move on. If you get past this it is time for the Second Qualification Stage which works exactly like the first. Next is the Final Stage of Qualifying and this will have 156 players and 6 rounds of golf with no cut. The low 25 and ties will receive a Pga Tour Card for the following season. Every player at the Final Stage receives some kind of status on the Nationwide Tour. Keep in mind by the Final Stage the tournament is going to be filled with pros who have lost their status on The Pga Tour or pros from other tours that have made it as well. Lastly during every stage the individual player is responsible for the courses green fees during every round

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